The second occurrence was a few weeks later when I was in shorts, a tee shirt and flats

It was a nice day for a walk and to show off my new hairdo (see head and shoulders picture). The comment was “you resemble the wonderful actress Patricia Neal! Just amazing”.

Now both comments are flattering and I am sure that is what was intended. But on second thought, they both infer that I have the fashion sense and look from fifty years ago. If you don’t know who Patricia Neal is you will have to Google her. Hopefully the comment to me was looking like Ms. Neal while she was in her 40s/50s, lol.

Back to my hairdo. In this first instance you can see my hair had quite the upturn curl on the sides and back, which I did not prefer. The “Neal” look is smoother with some wave, which I do prefer.

So, no matter how I/you look, the public will immediately have an opinion about you, even if they don’t share it. I just went with it all and enjoyed the moment. I am who I am, just me.

I wish I could tell you why this feeling came over me, but I don’t know why. I purchased lingerie, a dress, pantyhose, heeled slingback shoes, wig, purse and makeup. I modelled them at home a few times and experimented with different makeup styles.

This was very special to me because I had someone from

But I never wanted to just sit around the house, I had to walk the sidewalks of neighboring towns and be seen by people (but not noticed)! Not only did I walk around, but I ventured into a couple of stores to buy gum or look at women’s clothes. I was very, very nervous, but determined to do it. Most people I passed made no recognition of me, but sometimes I did hear some laughs after I passed by. One time out I was called a “faggot” and laughed at. Another time out I was laughed at and I heard someone say about me: “there goes one that needs an operation”. I was also chased down the street once, but got away in my car. I really enjoyed the feeling of presenting as a woman. I also did not tell my wife. Eventually I pressured myself into purging it all and tried to suppress that urge.

A few years ago (2018) I was “surfing” the internet and came across pictures of beautiful crossdressers and Tgirls. Feelings came flooding back to me. I also went on YouTube and saw videos of many people presenting as women. I knew I had to resume my feminine presentation. One such mature YouTube Tgirl I noticed was on sidewalks I had walked decades ago. She was very well dressed and poised as she walked. I thought she was very classy and beautiful. Her name was Alison.

When I was in my early thirties (1980’s) I had my first desire to wear women’s clothes

I started to stock my closet again with lingerie, a skirt, a few tops, pantyhose and flats and pumps. I was able to make contact with Alison. my neighborhood who I could share my thoughts and get expert advice. This was Jocelyn‘s “tipping point”. Alison initially said she had been dressing since an early age, but never ever thought she would have a friend or acquaintance. She was also unsure if she wanted any. We did exchange many emails over the months and sent pictures of each other back and forth. Alison gave me many tips on wigs, makeup, dresses, shoes and presentation style. She also told me about blogs such as Kandi’s and Stana’s Femulate and about YouTube dressers I should see and learn from. [Editorial comment: wow!]

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